kissofdeath6661
Woman in Love
Count your blessings, 'cause I'm counting every lie
Posts: 314
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Post by kissofdeath6661 on Jul 24, 2009 18:13:59 GMT -6
Staring at my ceiling I hear my parents yelling down stairs. Mother is yelling something about cheating, again. I hear him yell at her again and I hear a slap, with that I flinch. My dad yells something about her being a stupid bitch and he turns and stomps off and the front door slams shut. It is silent for a few minutes and I turn my music down a bit. About ten minutes later I hear a thud and my mother sob. I shake for a second and choke down my tears, I promised myself I don’t need them. They don’t care about me anyway, my mom fucks everyone with a penis and my dad is always out drinking and god knows what else. My mom and dad can’t stand each other, none the less me. My dad works six days a week, they always fright and never notice me. Although every Sunday we shut up and act like a family, we go to church like every single ’perfect family’. I’m the only person in my family knows that my mother had re-married while still married to my father.
My step dad hates me so, he hits me everyday. He has raped me too, I told my mom this but she doesn’t care. He goes to church too, he sits about three pews behind us. My siblings don’t know anything that I do. My older brother Joey is never home, he is out doing drugs and having a party. My older sister takes after my mom, she is out fucking my school she dose it all in vain too. My little sister’s, the twins have no clue what really happens. I protect their sweet little minds as best as I can, they are only seven and shouldn’t have to deal with this. None of my distant family talks to us, my mom married my dad who was poor and she got shunned from her family, my dad’s family didn’t approve of my mom because they thought she was just a stuck up snobby bitch, oh lord they are right.
As for myself I am trying to live in the world god gave me, I like to try and look at the bright side of things. I might not look like a ‘go god’ person but that’s because I’m not. I love god and the church but sitting there and praying isn’t my thing. I don’t like a lot of church bands, the church bands I like are The Devil Wears Prada, UnderOATH, Paramore and many more. Other music I listen to are just the everyday metal and rock and screamo bands. I have my mother’s eyes and my father’s hair, I look like both of my parents. That is one reason they can’t stand me, all my other siblings take after one parent, I’m a mix. My mother’s eyes which is also mine change colors, I was born with blue eyes, the other colors are gray, green, gold and blue-green. My father’s hair is black and golden at the roots, that to me is unknown. I am pretty tall five foot nine, I also get that from my father, I’m slim but I have boobs. I am sixteen years old and I am an outcast in my family, in my school and in life in general. The only reason I’m still alive is because of my best friend Jimmy.
Ah, Jimmy I’ve known this boy since I was three, his family was family friends with my family. Of course being the same age we had to hang out. Jimmy has dirty blonde, basically brown hair and green eyes, he has the most amazing smile and he is as sweet as can be. He is slim and tall, taller than me standing at six foot three. He is into the whole ‘emo’ phase right now. He goes through phases a lot, I tried to tell him it was unnecessary because he is amazing as is. He is a popular kid in school, but he is willing to risk his popularity for me. He is the only one that knows everything about me and my family. He is the only one that hears me, he is the only one that will listen. He is the light in the dark, he is the voice in my heart, he is the thought in my head, he is the smile that comes onto my lips. If you couldn’t tell, I love James Anthony Luth.
The downside to that is he will never like me, hell no one will ever like me. I’ve never had a kiss, I’ve never had a date, I’ve never done anything. No one has ever asked me out, I sit alone at lunch every time Jimmy gets a new girlfriend. Like I said I’m a loner. Jimmy is my best friend but it doesn’t matter his girlfriends come before me, so much for bro’s before hoe’s. I hate being alone, I wish someone out there would always be there for me. As I’m spacing off into my thoughts I come back down to world and see tears running down my face. I hear foot steps come towards my bed and I see jimmy’s sparkling eyes and bright smile, until he see’s my tears running down my face. He kneels down on the side of my bed and I roll on my side to face him. He frowns and wipes away my tears, he pushes me over on my bed so he could lay down. Another tear escapes from my eyes he pulls me into his chest and lets me cry into him.
After my sob’s die down he whispers into my ear “What’s wrong baby?” I wish he really meant that, we always call each other pet names. “Don’t say nothing because I will get it out of you.” I smile a bit at him and say quietly “everything” he looks at me sadly. “What’s everything? It’s something more than family” I mumble something under my breath. He ‘hmm’s’ at me, I take a deep breath and say “I said, you.”
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kissofdeath6661
Woman in Love
Count your blessings, 'cause I'm counting every lie
Posts: 314
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Post by kissofdeath6661 on Jul 24, 2009 18:14:55 GMT -6
“What do you mean?” my brain clicks and I realize what I just said. I push out of his grasp and sit up and shake my head. “Hun, tell me.” I sigh and turn to look at him and say “I don’t know why I said that, it’s nothing.” He sits up and smiles at me sadly and wraps his arms around me and pulls me back down. I change the subject by saying “So how was your day?” he puts his face into my shoulder and mumbles “I broke up with Ashley she was cheating on me.” I turn my head towards the wall to hide my grin, no wonder why he is all cuddly today. I turn my body to face him I put my hand on his face and say “Sweetheart, you’ll find someone better trust me.” That has become my famous line every time he gets dumped or dumps someone. A tear falls from his eye he must have really liked her. I use my hand to wipe away his tears. He clears his throat and says “I know I will.” he wraps his arms around my body and pulls me in tight. After a few minutes his breathing becomes calm and even and I can tell he is dead asleep.
I look over to the clock as hours fly by I still can’t sleep. It’s getting rather uncomfortable in Jimmy’s arms. So I carefully roll over and escape his death grip on me. I face the wall and see my Marilyn Manson poster staring back at me. I wish I could live like him, he is amazing and he doesn’t let people effect him that much. If he did he would go and become what everyone else looks like. I wish I had enough money to go see him this summer, it would be amazing. Who knows summer is pretty far from now. Staring at the poster again I start thinking of Marilyn Manson’s songs. I bolt up when I hear the door slam open down stairs. Jimmy almost falls off my bed but I grab his arm before he does. I throw him a panicked look and he quietly books to my comment. My dad’s heavy footsteps thump up the stairs he walks down the hallway and slows down at my room, but he keeps walking.
I know he will be back soon so I lie down and close my eyes pretending to be asleep. My father’s footsteps echo back into the deathly silent hallway. I grip the bed not knowing what’s going to happen tonight. My door flies open and hit’s the wall I jump up. My father doesn’t say a word just walks forward to me. He grabs the front of my shirt and throws me to the floor. He kicks me in the ribs, hard. I cough up some blood and that’s when he loses it. “You fucking bitch, how dare you get fucking blood on my floor.” He pulls me up by my hair and punches me in the face. I let out a cry and he throws me onto the floor. He spits on me and stalks out and slams the door.
I wait till I hear my parents door open and slam shut. Jimmy bolts out of my closet and gets down and hugs me. He rocks me back and forth shushing me. “It’s okay baby, everything will be alright” I start to sob into his chest he kisses the top of my head and pulls me onto his lap. His arms are very stiff and strong. “Jimmy please relax” I choke out, he takes a sigh and loosens his arms a bit. “I’m going to kill him one day, I swear.” Now it was my turn to tense up. “Jimmy please, you wouldn’t win or you’d go to jail. Please don’t say that I need you.” He stares at me and starts rocking me back and forth. That night was a bad night but yet falling asleep in Jimmy’s arms made it one of the best nights of my life.
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kissofdeath6661
Woman in Love
Count your blessings, 'cause I'm counting every lie
Posts: 314
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Post by kissofdeath6661 on Jul 24, 2009 18:15:40 GMT -6
The next morning I wake up in my bed alone. I look at the clock and it’s six am. Groaning I remember it’s a Monday. I get up and turn off my alarm clock that’s been going off for the last ten minutes. I walk to my closet and pick out tripp pants, an avenged sevenfold jacket and a Marilyn Manson jacket. I run to the bathroom before anyone wakes up and I take a quick shower. I get out ten minutes later and blow dry my hair. I walk about of the bathroom after I got dressed. I go into the twins room and wake them up and get them ready for school. I cook breakfast for the twin’s and my sister. I put out the food for them and walk up to Hannah’s door and knock and tell her breakfast is ready. She yells at me to go away, I roll my eyes and walk away. I don’t eat breakfast I’m fat enough as is and my stomach can never handle food in the morning. I grab my backpack and kiss the twin’s heads and start my walk to school.
I walk out the door and frown to see Jimmy not waiting for my. I shake my head and think nothing of it, he probably is busy. I walk to school listening to my I-pod. Where is the love by the Black Eyes Peas came on. Unlike many people think I do listen to some pop and rap. The only label I fit in would be ‘outcast’. When I get to school I see Jimmy hanging out with his other friends. I ignore them because I don’t want to embarrass him or me. When I walk by one of his friends, John screams out “So Katie, are you as easy as your sister and mom?” his little group of friends laugh including Jimmy. I frown but ignore him. He calls out again “Fine don’t answer me, I don’t want a ugly freak sucking me anyway.” I shake my head and walk away. I hear all there laughter but out of all of those I hear Jimmy’s loud and clear.
I couldn’t focus throughout all my morning classes. When lunch rolls around I decided to skip and go to the gas station. When I got there I bought a pack of gum, monster and cigarettes. I walk out of the gas station and light up a cigg. I start walking to “the wall” while smoking my cigg. I see Jimmy and Anna making out. I walk past them and blow a big puff of smoke right in front of them. I hear Anna cough and I smirk to myself. I feel Jimmy’s stare of my back. I get to the wall and that’s when I knew I was going to skip the rest of the day. What you do at “the wall” is you pretty much smoke weed and hook up. That’s the only place I’m liked. I have friends there but they aren’t true friends. One of my friends Alex gives me his blunt and we sit there and smoke for hours, literally. One of Alex’s friends bring by some beer and we pretty much sit there drinking and smoking. Alex bluntly leans over and kisses me, it takes me a few seconds to respond because I’m in shock. I start kissing him back and he pulls me onto his lap. We were really getting it on when my phone rings.
I pull away from him but still stay on his lap, at this point he is giving me a big hicky on my neck. I look and see it’s my mom. I hold my groan from both her calling and Alex. I pick up the phone and she asks where I am, I lie and tell her I’m at my friends house. She tell’s me to come home now because it’s eight o’clock. I say okay. I tell Alex I have to go and he groans and pulls away from me but holds onto my arms and asks “Will you come back tomorrow?” I smile and nod. He takes the phone out of my hands and puts in his number. I smile and kiss him one more him he grabs the back of my head and makes out with me. I push him away before it gets too far again. He pouts as I get up, I giggle. I start walking away but he calls out “wait” I look back and he grabs my hand and says “I’m walking you home.” I smile and blush not used to this much attention. The way home is about a ten minute walk, Alex breaks out the weed again. We smoke the way home down the block from my house he pushes me against a pole and kisses me. We make out again until I hear “Katie?” I look up and see the shocked expression of Jimmy. I giggle and give Jimmy a half drunk half high smile. I grab Alex’s hand and walk down the road to my house. Alex asks me “what time are you coming back tomorrow?” I think and say “Well I have to at least go into school and say I showed up, so probably right after that.” he nods and kisses me one more time. “goodnight baby.” he whispers in my ear and it makes my heart rate increase by ten. I smile at him and watch him walk away.
I walk in the door and my mom comes in my face and explodes at me. “Are you fucking high?” she screeches in my face. She slaps me across the face and I just looked at her with glazed eyes. I push past her and go into the kitchen to get something to eat. I see some tuna fish in there so I have that. My mom stalks into the kitchen her face bright red. I look at her with the same blank expression covering my face. She get’s right up in my face again “How dare you just walk past me like that! I’m your fucking mother show me some god damn respect!.” I just laugh in her face. Her hand turns into a fist and she punches me as hard as she can. It knocks me to the ground I look at her shocked and she turns around and stalks out of the room. I hear her bedroom door slam shut. I got up and went to my room and fell dead asleep the second I hit the bed.
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kissofdeath6661
Woman in Love
Count your blessings, 'cause I'm counting every lie
Posts: 314
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Post by kissofdeath6661 on Jul 24, 2009 18:16:20 GMT -6
Six am, Tuesday morning, I groan and sigh. I get up feeling like a zombie got up and went to my closet I pulled out jeans and “the strokes” band tee shirt. I got a “the almost” jacket too. I go to the bathroom slower than normal but I still make it before everyone else. I look in the med cabinet and take out a bottle of Advil. I have a killer hangover. I take about five pills, I know I’m not supposed to but fuck it. Why not? Oh god I’m turning into my brother. I shutter at the thought. I strip from my old clothes and step into the hot shower. I let my mind wonder and run over time. I get out of the shower and dry myself. I blow dry my hair. I frown at myself, I need to change my hair soon. I put on my clothes and run to the twins room and tell them to get up and they have to make there own food because I’m running late. They both give me a hug and I run down the stairs. I put on my shoes and grab my bag. I pass my mom in the living room and she gives me a dirty look. She gets up and calls after me “Katie, aren’t you going to make breakfast for everyone?” I give her a dirty look back and say “Make it yourself whore.” She charges at me and I run out the front door. She makes it to the front door and screams on top of her lungs “You fucking bitch! Get your ass back here!” I see Jimmy and all his friends outside and they all stare at my mom in shock. I turn around and flip my mom off. Her face goes red and she slams the door shut.
I ignore Jimmy and his crew and start my walk to school. I’m half way down the road and I hear my sisters high pitch voice. I look back just to see her kiss Jimmy. I’m shaking from anger, I stalk down to my school. I get to school and sit on a bench outside of school, I pull out a cig and start to smoke it. I see Jimmy and my sister holding hands walking to school. The whole crew is walking behind them. I see Jimmy push my sister forward a little bit and turn around to the crew and told them something. They walked into school and he walked over to the bench I’m sitting on. “Can I sit?” he asked me. I just shrug my shoulders, he sighs and sits down. “Katie…” he says after we sit in silence for a few minutes. I give him a blank look and he takes my hand. I pull away from him, a look of confusion and hurt crosses his face. “Why are you acting like this?” I laugh in his face and his eyes weld in tears. “Why did you laugh at his joke and why are you making out with my sister.” I spit in his face, he swallows and looks to the ground. “When did you turn into such an asshole.” With my last comment made I get up and start to walk away. He grabs my wrist and I turn to see a lone tear slip down his face.
I rip away from him and stalk off, if he thinks he can fucking guilt trip me and make me forgive him for all this bullshit he had it wrong. Okay all I have to do is make it through ten minutes with Jimmy and then I’m going to meet Alex. The bell rings and I’m sitting on a desk, Jimmy walks in with a scowl on his face. He sits next to me but doesn’t try to talk to me. Well someone is acting fucking pissy because the truth slapped him in the face. I smirk at this I don’t know what’s going on in his mind but I like this. Alright I may be acting too over dramatic but well I have a right to be annoyed. He sighs and flips his hair back trying to get my attention. I know what he’s doing now he is flat out being a drama queen. I roll my eyes and ignore his whining. He pokes my thigh because I’m still sitting on the desk. I ignore him and play with the threads on the rip on my jeans. He sighs and slams his head down I giggle at that. His head shoots back up and he stares at me, I scold myself for doing that. “Katie Storm?” I say “here” and go back to spacing.
I hear the bell ring and I shoot up and walk out of the room, Jimmy calls my name. I walk away from him and walk out of the school. I’m shocked to see Alex standing there waiting for me. He see’s me and gives me a bright smile, I smile back at him. Jimmy grabs my wrist again and I glare at him, “What are you doing Katie?” I smirk at him and say “Going where people actually like me.” and I rip my arm from him and walk down the steps. I walk up to Alex and he wraps him arms around me and leans in and kisses me. Knowing Jimmy is watching us I wrap my arms around him and start to kiss him back. I feel Jimmy’s glare on us I don’t know who it’s to but he doesn’t like it and I’m loving this. It’s horrid because I’m just showing him how I felt when he was with all his girlfriends. I grab Alex’s hand and we walk off.
While walking away I hear Jimmy say “I didn’t even want you tramp.” I bite my lip, it hurts. I hurt him, I fucked up again.
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